Dans Vie en Vie

The sky was a dark color; no moon was shining on the town below. The wind was picking slowly and in front an apartment building it was a strange mix of mystery and a bad feeling. In one of the apartments, a child was looking through the small opening of the door. A woman and a man were both drinking alcohol and smoking.

“Those were my parents.” The woman looked warily to the man, both having blurry eyes. Their fingers on the bottles were miserable. The whole room was miserable, with hospital white walls, food thrown around as well as empty bottles of beer, wine, vodka, etc. “I was just a small girl. I loved my parents even if they were drunk most of the time.” The woman looked back into her daughter’s eyes. She smiled softly, almost looking as an ordinary mother. The child backed off while the woman simply walked slowly to her. The kid closed his eyes. “I was afraid even if I didn’t know why. The bruises on my body were remembering me about last night, and the nights before. They were my parents and I loved them.” The mother grabbed a belt from the dresser and launched to the frightened child. “But that was enough.”

“How did they die?” The girl’s voice scoffed.

“It was a usual day.” The man and the woman were drunk, laughing at something the other had to say. The kid was again, looking from the small opening of the door. She had new bruises on her arms and legs and her eyes were red and sore. She has been crying. “I knew I was in danger. I wanted to run away so many times but they caught me every time and they punished me.” The scene changes to one of the few times the girl tried to run away. She ended up crying into her pillow. “But this time…this was the real deal. Unfortunately for them, and luckily for me…they got interrupted” The man opens the door and sees a stranger, an old lady that seemed to realize what was happening in the small apartment. “They got into a fight. I thought it would be my only chance. I took the closest empty bottle I found and…” The man and the woman were full of blood, dead, their eyes opened. The kid was standing there, watching expressionless, the bottle thrown away somewhere into the room. People started swaying around her, the images changing, people moving the furniture, yet she was standing there, not moving at all.

“What happened next?”

“What always happen. I got into an orphanage.” The scene changes, the girl finds herself into a much nicer and cleaner room. She has a bed, a table and a roommate. “Every time I would watch the walls, those happy smiling faces, the smiling children around me. It was sickening.” The scene changes again and the now older girl, a teenager, is at school. “My life changed after my parents died.” She wasn’t really laughing but the girl was truthfully having a fun time with her new made friends.

“You never had friends before, right?” She chuckled.

“No. It was a new feeling to me. Having someone to talk to and share my feelings with. Someone who cared. But I was wrong.” One of her friends shoved her into the wall.

“Why didn’t you tell me (that guy) asked you out? I told you I like him! I thought-“ The girl’s voice started saying the same line at the same time.

“I thought we were friends. That’s what she said. One of my supposed best friends.”

“You got mad.” She nodded.

“I did. At the same time, I lost my trust into other people and I became what I’ve been scared I will…”

“The new subject for rumors.” The scene changes, on the halls, teenagers look strangely at the girl. She tries to hide her face but someone throws a piece of folded paper at her. She doesn’t stop. “What were the rumors about?” She scoffed. She didn’t want to respond. It hurt her to even remember those times. “Ella, what were they saying?” His stare was so intense and his voice simply obliged her to respond.

“There were different rumors. The one that hurt the most was the one that I killed my parents.”The scene changes again and she finds herself in another room, on a chair in front of another chair.

“You ended up at the school’s therapist.”

“Yes. That room became a routine after a few days. She asked me so many questions about my past. She was sure I will lose control at one point.”

“She told you that?” There was a small silence.

“Yes. And she was right. I did lose it.” When she arrived at school, on one of the days, she found…”Pictures of a girl, drawn with red paint…bad drawings of how they thought I killed my parents.”

“How did they know what you hated, what were you afraid of?” The scene changes again, it’s before the rumors started, before the nightmare started. She was in the art class. The teacher told them to paint people in a whatever place they wanted. She stopped and looked at the white paper. She started to draw a girl in a room, her face sad and when she was ready to make another figure she stopped.

“I can’t do it” She whispered. The girl next to her looked questioningly at her.

“She helped me. She understood. That’s how they found out. I hated her.” The tone in her voice became venomous. “I hated her so much.”

“And what did you do?”

“Nothing. I wasn’t able to do anything.” The scene changes back to the present. The memories were fading away. The therapist looked from behind his desk to the female in front. She looked sad but at the same time, she looked furious. “I did nothing all this time. I didn’t have the courage to forget and live in the present. Now I will always be afraid that at some point in my life, the past will come back and haunt me.” She sighed, bent her head down and looked to one side, her face expressionless.

Three Words

As I stood there, in the silence of a December day, millions of thoughts came rushing through my mind. What if he wanted to break up with me? What if it didn’t have anything to do with that? What if he cheated on me? What if…? That question was making me crazy. As my eyes were anywhere but on his face, I started to play with my fingers. It was a stupid habit I gained when I started to date him.

“Ahem.” That small noise got my attention in an instant. He didn’t seem to understand through what i was going in those moments. “I have three important words I want to tell you.” My eyes widened and I felt as if my stomach was turning upside down. It was the moment I never wanted to happen. It was the end.

“I love you” He said. I remained dumbstruck, not even processing yet what he told me. When the expression he was waiting for didn’t come, he got worried. “Do you not feel the same?” I blinked. How could I not love him back? He was everything I wished for. My lips curved slowly and I kissed him with everything I had. Maybe I got scared for nothing. Maybe I will get my happily ever after.

Dreams

Everyone has a dream. Actually, it’s impossible not to. At one moment in life you start thinking about the future. At some point you’ll want to move out from the familiar house you’ve spent most of your life in, you’ll crave for a new beginning, a new life. Most teenagers already make plans, which is good in a way but then again, in time you might change your point of view. Nothing stay the same, everything is in a continuous change. However, humans don’t change, their appearance does get older while aging up but the personality won’t. You can’t expect a childish friend to change overnight in a matured person. It’s impossible. The world is like a spiral and we’re all caught in it even if we want it or not, even if we accept it or not. Everyone has a fate, the destiny will take us through all kind of difficulties and happy moments but being young is something you can revive through childishness. Childhood is the time you create the best memories. Pictures and memories, that’s what remain. Pictures and memories is another way of talking about life. Dreams come every day and they grow at the same time with you. Life is short and because of our way of living now, because of this mess we created with our own hands, gets shorter. Dreams are what keep us believing, they’re the ones who inspire us to be better. They’re like shining stars on a clear summer night. You try to reach them but you can’t. So close yet so far. But important is not the effort you put or the help you get. No. The simple fact of trusting in your own idea, in yourself is what gets you, each time you raise your hand, a step closer to them. That’s why dreams are so important, they force you to try to be better and you do it unconsciously.

Crush

I think everyone knows how it is when you have a crush. He/she is the only person you can think about, you start day dreaming about him and sometimes exaggerate. That’s the worse level when it comes to crushing on someone. Of course, your heart beat faster when you see him/her and you feel sick, like hundred of butterflies fly in your stomach. It is a nice feeling but is NOT love, as many considerate. Love doesn’t come so easy. Yes, you like him/her but there are some situations you have to avoid. For example, what if you don’t know your crush? You like him/her from afar and like what he/she wants you to. Just because he/she acts cool and looks good doesn’t mean he/she is a nice person. From what you know, the crush can be a real jerk who doesn’t give a shit about girls/boys in general. In some cases the crush can be exactly what it seems to, but that’s quite rare. If you do know him/her, you know how it is, how he behaves. Attention, he/she can anytime lie and put an act to impress you and your group of friends. When you have a crush, the best is to talk with him/her and just socialize. Be aware not to start stalking him, like an animal stalking its prey. It’s also important to be yourself around him/her. Believe me, I talk from experience and I do not like when my friends act foolish just to be appreciated, seen or simply be liked by their crushes. It’s sickening. The dignity disappears and with it, the respect. Both yours and the one your crush accords you.

Self confidence

Do you know how is to feel like a piece of crap? Like everyone thinks you’re unimportant and ugly? That’s how a lot of people feel every day but never say a word about their emotions. It first starts from something trivial like hanging out with suppose-to-be friends. Of course being human, you watch everything around and that’s the beginning. Jealousy it’s in human’s nature but this feeling is barely jealousy, it’s more like a pessimistic wave flowing through your veins. Of course at first not even you know what’s all this but in time you can recognize it under another name. Unimportance, ugliness, you start disliking your own person and in the end lose your self confidence. This sentiment is hard to heal, seriously now, you can’t change your outside and inside in one night. Your existence is important for your beloved ones like parents, family and best friends. Friends…this is another subject with other stories. Losing your self confidence is like losing your soul. Why would you lose something so important for you? Just because you aren’t threatened as you see other persons are? No, this is stupid and can barely work. You will always be special, different in your own way and nothing can change this, never. It’s impossible. And it’s better like that.
A cure for those with self confidence is talking with someone they trust (mother, father, cousin, etc). Of course this doesn’t work at everyone, for example me. I always talk with my mother about some things and with my older cousin about teenage years. Another cure would be expressing your feelings, your wishes, displeasures over everything in some way. Music, writing, playing an instrument for those who know to, screaming even…there are many ways, so try to figure yourself out.

Talent

"This is a sad violin that everyone's listening to every day"

After the youngest member of the poor family disappeared, the middle child went searching for a new toy. The little girl didn't find what she was actually imagining to. She found a small instrument glistening in the light. It was an violin standing alone on the ground. However, she took it and since then she tried hard to figure it out.

"It chords are broken, it can't be repaired in any way"

The violin had just one defect. Its chords were broken. She tried repairing it but everything was in vain. Because the girl had such a beautiful 'toy', the other children started making fun of her and her beloved ones ignored everything that happened around the little soul.

"The sweet and proud sound of its music can't be replaced,can't be erased"

The sound that incredible instrument was making could've been heard from miles away but no one even glanced at the one whose hands and talent made it possible in the end. She went through a lot just to hear, to produce such beauty.

"This is a sad violin, once in a full of happiness child's hands"

When her family gave more attention to their only daughter, the shiny 'toy' captured their eyes. They took it away and with it, the child's source of happiness.

"Now he can't get out the same old sounds,he's been taken away"

Time has passed fast than anyone could've imagined. Over years the innocent child got through a lot of transformations, one of them being the one to the dead ones. Her soul is now in every girl who's happiness hasn't been taken away...yet. There are a lot of talented children but some people don't see it how they should. They take away their source of happiness and after this, they are the ones who're asking the annoying question: 'Are you ok? Why are you sad?' Like it's not obvious enough.

Blind

"This is a sad piano song,wrote in an abandoned house"

There is a child whose family was tragically hit by fate. Small and innocent, the little boy, whose name nobody tried to remember, plays in the mud near a grand, long abandoned house. One day, he has found the courage, also pushed by the criticism of the close ones, to enter through the huge black door although very old.

"In a huge hall full of spider webs,where no one can come"

The boy was so small and the hall he entered in was so large. He could have get lost without a trace. The long parlour was full of spider webs and ashes. It was scarier than the outside. Still, the little one walked forward without a glance.

"No one care, hope is just a memory of what we've once had"

Hours flew and no one realized the child was nowhere in sight. Or maybe they didn't care. The child's mother figured he disappeared but she didn't do anything. She didn't even looked after her youngest son. She just stopped hoping he's even alive.

"This is a sad piano song, made from a child who's all alone"

Inside the old house the boy found in the biggest room, once the dining-room where the high ranked people ate, a huge black piano right in the center. It was beautiful, the most interesting thing the child has ever seen. When his small finger collided with a white key, the soft sound has filled his soul. He could now do something in his life and he wasn't alone anymore. He has the music and the beautiful black piano.

"No one care, he's everywhere, but no one sees him, they're not believing"

The child has been always there but no one even stopped listening to one word he said. Now his soothing music can be heard from far away. That's how he can be present everywhere, or that's what he feels. Everyone hears him but they're not believing. They think about the unexpected, the fictional phenomenon everyone calls a phantom. If they would just listen closely they would see the truth. People are too blind to see what they have around and when they finally realize, it's already too late. It's gone.