Someone once said “You do not choose your
faith, instead, you are chosen by it.” Truthfully, I never cared about these
words before. I never needed to. However, after I changed my view over the
world and over my life, I started to wonder…
It was a bright day which
announced the summer break. After a long year of learning and working for my
supposedly future, I really needed a break. It was ambiguous how my mood was
exactly the opposite of the weather. However, it did feel nice; the heat on my
skin, the freshness of the morning, all of these elements were enjoyable. The
streets were bewildered with people who were definitely fast for their height.
I was walking aimlessly through Tokyo. My thoughts were going from one subject
to another, ending with a inner battle. I felt quite empty which wasn’t exactly
a characteristic of mine but, lately, I just started to wonder if my place was
where I was. Had it been my idea to finish a college in Japan? Was my dream to
finish management and business? I did wonder…Had I been wasting time for
nothing?
A small brunette sighed while she placed her hands on the
railing. The city was crowded on a daily
basis yet that day seemed to be suffocating.
Maybe it was because of the freshness of summer, maybe the heat got
everyone to enjoy the outside. Who knew? There were children who were playing
around, women trying to move through them, teenagers gossiping, there was even
a clown! Overall, the view was marvellous and those were also the thoughts of a
photographer who didn't dare to miss such scenery. He took pictures for every
detail: every group wandering around, every expression and every move. Also, he couldn't stop himself from taking a shot of the foreigner woman besides the
bridge. Her hair was loose and the tips were curled, maybe from humidity; her
body was small but compared to Japanese women she was definitely more curved;
her eyes were fixed on a spot, like she was searching for something which
seemed so far away. She looked beautiful. Without noticing, the man walked
closer to her. He couldn't resist the force that seemed to bring him closer. To look manlier, and try not to freak her out,
he took another picture of her.
He had his camera in front of his eyes and was
very concentrated so, he didn't remark that she turned her head and was looking
at him. He got perplexed when his objective met a pair of beautiful green eyes.
“Sorry,”
Since she looked like a foreigner, and she was one, he
thought she wouldn't know Japanese, so he excused himself in broken English.
She was completely uninterested. She wasn't preoccupied at all by his presence since
in the next second she turned into the same position he had found her. He sighed. He leaned one hand on the bridge
and watched the beautiful scenery. The water was calm and clear. There were
fishes swimming here and there. He could actually see the path they were going
on. He grabbed his camera and started to take pictures almost as an instinct.
Sensing that she had been probably too ignorant and
impolite, the woman turned her head towards him. She started to watch him
closely, every move and every smile he had when he was satisfied of his shoots.
“It’s alright,”
He stopped mid-action and glanced at her. He put his camera
down and chuckled, almost nervously. He wasn't actually expecting a response
from her, to begin with.
“About the pictures you took of me. It’s alright.” He nodded
and smiled to himself. Somehow he felt as if he should start a conversation. It
was awkward.
“Where-uh-from-“He stopped, trying to find the right
translation. She raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“Oh. Where am I from?” Her response was in smooth Japanese.
He stopped and laughed at his thoughts. How could he not think she might have
known Japanese? “I’m from England but I’ve been in Tokyo for 3 years now.” She titled her head to one side and raised an
eyebrow. “Any more questions?” He sighed and brushed a hand through his hair.
“What are you looking for?” His question ran deeper than he
intentioned. Her mood instantly dropped from superiority to depression. She
sighed heavily and turned to look over the lake.
“I don’t know. A reason maybe.”
She furrowed her eyebrows, thinking, while he simply copied
her actions.
“Maybe answers.”
“Answers to what?”
She sighed again and fully turned to him. She leaned one
hand on the bridge and titled her head to the side, again. He simply stood
still..
“Life is quite long don’t you think?” Hearing such words,
the poor man thought he might have started a conversation with a woman who
wanted to commit suicide.
“There are people who would like to tell you otherwise.” She
scoffed.
“There needs a reason to live, right? But what happens when
that reason changes?” That seemed to
perplex him for a second.
“I guess…” He mumbled, confused. “ I've always thought it’s
better to follow the wind. Life is often misunderstood and when you get fed up
with it, you choose the easy way out.” She continued to watch him. His theory
sounded quite philosophical and she was curious to hear it out. “I believe
there there’s also good in life. You can’t expect happiness to fall from the
sky. You have to sweat for it.” He glanced to her. She seemed to analyse his
words.
“So,”
He walked a little bit closer to her and smiled. She raised
her head and looked into his eyes. It was hard to understand what was going
through her head and her eyes weren't a help either.
“What do you need to make you happy right now?” She blinked.
When she realized what he had asked, she opened her mouth yet no sound came
out. She had no idea.
“Anything, I guess,”
He bit his lip and started to think about his next move. He
caught glance of two people, two lovers, who were very intrigued by the clown’s
actions. He grabbed her hand and knew exactly where and how to plant a smile on
her lips. Even if he didn't know her, he didn't care.
He was my
mind.
Against what he believed in, he was that
happiness which just fell from the sky.
