Love in the Winter

Check out my song!! I wasn't kidding when I said I compose lol

Music to the Ears (Kana Nishino)

I am obsessed with her songs. Well, these two albums at least. There are songs about love and friendship. I know that her voice is a little annoyong at times because she has a high pitched tone but it's fine. The instrumental parts definitely make up for that.

I don't know how famous she is in Japan but she is good. I don't really know many Japanese female singers so feel free to inform me :)

We're in Love

Take my hand

Close your eyes

Let your mind get blank

And slowly sway side to side

Let yourself fly

And trust me

I will never let go of you

So just trust me

And let's fly

To a better tomorrow

You and I

Let's leave behind the sorrow

I'm sure there is a place for us

A heaven brighter than any sun

Where our love will last forever

여덟 번째 편지

Dear Anonymous,

I swore that I will never fall in love. I was scared that at some point I will become overwhelmed by emotions and unspoken words. I am old enough to experience this feeling and take responsibility of it but I never cared about it. I never thought that I will fall in love. Unfortunately, I did. I thought it may be just another crush but it became more each passing day. Now, I watch my reflection in the mirror and ask: What did I become? When did I change so much? Will I overcome the hardships of this love? Will I be able to take responsibility?  I do not know the answer but this love is slowly taking over my sanity. 

You know how people often say that love is blind? Well, my love is not. However, it is very subtle. I'm not romantic and I'm pretty complicated. I had often been tossed aside when I was getting too handful. I got so accustomed to that feeling. I guess I became strong because of it so how did I end up thinking so innocently? Now, the tables have been turned upside down. There's no war inside me but sometimes I am afraid that it's a war outside. A spiritual war where each side pulls the thin rope more and more. It gets tiring and sometimes I just want to give up but the other side pulls the rope and we get closer. However, we are never too close. I'm wondering for how long will I have to wait, if my feelings are shared equally. I have a  lot of questions and there is not enough time for answers. There is never enough time...

He Said

Pagini peste pagini

Sunt pline de imagini

Pe care am incercat

Sa le creez cu noi

Dar de fiecare data

Creez o alta fata

Nu stiu cum ma vezi

Nu stiu cum sa te vad

Ma blochez cand vine vorba de tine

Nu pot sa ma concentrez fara tine

Desi de multe ori imi creez iluzii si ma mint

Stiu ca tu esti acolo sa ma prinzi

Our Story Goes On

Even if it hurts
Even if it breaks me
Our story goes on
Be it together or separately

We have to move on
Even if I don't want to
There's nothing left to save
There's nothing left to hold onto

I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted
Our story started coincidentally
It was fun while it lasted
But from now on each of us begins another story

It hurts that you leave
But it also hurts if you stay
There's a war between mind and heart
I'm afraid there's no mid way

A Million Lights

“They left us alone” Indeed, after they shared life stories and joked around, Mizuki left with Chris and so, the two subjects remained all alone in front of the restaurant. “That little-“ Nao stopped swearing at his friend when he realized there was no petite figure next to him any more. She started to walk towards the park where the blind date started.

“So your name is Anna.” They were the only souls on that path, walking beside each other, lost into the surroundings. “Nana-Anna- nice word game. Who would have thought I had such a big impact on your life” He continued, trying to liven up the mood. He wasn’t that type of guy who could keep his mouth shut and truthfully, she wasn’t either. They had so much to tell each other and it seems as if there wasn’t enough time. Thinking that they may not meet again after that night, she chose to take the initiative.

“Actually, I never thought I will be haunted by a guy I met coincidentally one day for 4 years.” Even if she spoke easily, the impact on him was huge. He stopped and frowned. The place the two faced each other more seriously just happened to be a small decorative bridge from the central park.

 “Fate is seriously messing with me” She whispered, seeing the situation she was into and where it was taking place.

“I didn’t tell you to give up on anything” He started again while walking closer to her. She didn’t react. “You asked me what happens when you change the reason to keep living. I was foolish when I told you to give yourself into the wind and let yourself be taken by it. It takes you nowhere” Anna’s eyes were staring into Nao’s soul, he could feel it. Her green orbs were reading him like an open book.

“Nao,” His head was bent since her stare was too much to bear. “I’ve been asked what I will do when I will meet you again. Everyone knew for sure that it was inevitable, everyone except me. I was scared to meet you again, I was scared how big of an impact you will have on me this time,” She slowly closed the distance between them. When she was right in front of him, she turned to the left and let herself be submerged into the scenery.

“I-“She interrupted him instantly.

“I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret meeting you, sleeping with you, listening to you. That day was the best day of my life. I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t like that. We were complete strangers; complete opposites and we knew it was the beginning of the end.” She sighed and bit her lips, trying to find the right way to explain her feelings. “It wasn’t what you said that haunted me, it was you” In that moment, Nao’s head raised instantly. He realized she moved her green orbs on him. He couldn’t read her; that fact certainly didn’t change. But, he was intrigued by her point of view over that one day.

“I want you to know…I-“He wasn’t sure if he could voice his thoughts as well as her but he knew he had to show her. He leaned towards her, his eyes never leaving hers. She didn’t move, which he took a sign to continue. Their lips touched and they both felt the attraction, the blood rushing through their veins, the electricity slipping from one body to the other. It was intense but at the same time, it wasn’t.

They remained looking into each other’s eyes in silence. It looked beautiful from the outside. Their bodies were illuminated by the buildings around the park and the place itself was romantic. But, looking closer, they were two people who didn’t know what they wanted from themselves and from the other. They weren’t in love but fate just didn’t want to give up.

Spring

So spring will come soon....next week more exactly. I'm really excited. Usually, on March 1st I just come back to life. I go often to school and have a new and more positive perspective over everything. I get very optimistic when it's warm outside. But, I'm kind of forever alone so here are my feelings. Like, I know there are a lot of people I can talk to and I do have fun wherever I go but when you see all the couples around, suffocating each other with love (like this morning when I went to school and two people were all lovey dovey in the subway) kind of start to piss me off.

세 번째 글자

Dear Anonymous,


If the world would end tomorrow, I don't think I would have something I specifically want.I had everything in life, I had to work hard to obtain this feeling of fulfilment. Just I know the risks, the times I spent in a dark room, all alone, trying to encourage myself, telling myself that I can't give up, I can't go home yet. I have a path and I chose it so I should take responsibility. That's my destiny. I'm human, I'm a dreamer and I can't accept reality, I don't like it so I often think I should change it. If I can't change the world, then, I can create one of mine. But I'm selfish and ignorant. There's an element I don't have and that's love. While I tried to achieve my goal I forgot how lonely it feels to be on your own. What does this fulfilment mean without someone you can share it with? What is better? To be lonely or to be alone?