Dear Anonymous,
Something is wrong with me these past few days. I feel numb. I try not to think too much and just concentrate on what I have to do. Someone told me to stop and order my thoughts. People around me seem like shadows; or maybe I became the shadow.
Happy smiles usually hide troubles. There are many people who hide their true feelings and bury them in the depths of their hearts. Those feelings change you. When you feel depressed and lonely, your whole demeanor changes. Some notice and ask you what is wrong but most people don't notice at all. It's all fake if you think about it. I got to the point where I'm wondering if someone had ever been genuinely worried about me. 《Are you alright? You don't seem alright 》Did anyone ever ask you that?
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vineri, 22 august 2014
duminică, 1 septembrie 2013
여덟 번째 편지
Dear Anonymous,
I swore that I will never fall in love. I was scared that at some point I will become overwhelmed by emotions and unspoken words. I am old enough to experience this feeling and take responsibility of it but I never cared about it. I never thought that I will fall in love. Unfortunately, I did. I thought it may be just another crush but it became more each passing day. Now, I watch my reflection in the mirror and ask: What did I become? When did I change so much? Will I overcome the hardships of this love? Will I be able to take responsibility? I do not know the answer but this love is slowly taking over my sanity.
You know how people often say that love is blind? Well, my love is not. However, it is very subtle. I'm not romantic and I'm pretty complicated. I had often been tossed aside when I was getting too handful. I got so accustomed to that feeling. I guess I became strong because of it so how did I end up thinking so innocently? Now, the tables have been turned upside down. There's no war inside me but sometimes I am afraid that it's a war outside. A spiritual war where each side pulls the thin rope more and more. It gets tiring and sometimes I just want to give up but the other side pulls the rope and we get closer. However, we are never too close. I'm wondering for how long will I have to wait, if my feelings are shared equally. I have a lot of questions and there is not enough time for answers. There is never enough time...
I swore that I will never fall in love. I was scared that at some point I will become overwhelmed by emotions and unspoken words. I am old enough to experience this feeling and take responsibility of it but I never cared about it. I never thought that I will fall in love. Unfortunately, I did. I thought it may be just another crush but it became more each passing day. Now, I watch my reflection in the mirror and ask: What did I become? When did I change so much? Will I overcome the hardships of this love? Will I be able to take responsibility? I do not know the answer but this love is slowly taking over my sanity.
You know how people often say that love is blind? Well, my love is not. However, it is very subtle. I'm not romantic and I'm pretty complicated. I had often been tossed aside when I was getting too handful. I got so accustomed to that feeling. I guess I became strong because of it so how did I end up thinking so innocently? Now, the tables have been turned upside down. There's no war inside me but sometimes I am afraid that it's a war outside. A spiritual war where each side pulls the thin rope more and more. It gets tiring and sometimes I just want to give up but the other side pulls the rope and we get closer. However, we are never too close. I'm wondering for how long will I have to wait, if my feelings are shared equally. I have a lot of questions and there is not enough time for answers. There is never enough time...
sâmbătă, 8 septembrie 2012
일곱 번째 편지
Dear Anonymous,
In life, people usually play roles. Like I've heard so many times, life itself is a theatre and we, the humans, are the actors on stage. I guess I never really thought more into this. It was just an affirmation, nothing more and nothing less. But, now I see what it actually means. In my life, on my stage, I've always played the role of a naive and silly girl. I liked to make people laugh and acted stupid and oblivious to what was happening around me but there's more than what I show. I have a brain and I like to create something from nothing. I write, I compose music, I think a lot about many things and I am so much different. I don't show my feelings because I'm afraid I'll be found out. I know there's someone who understands me completely; I just have to wait. Patience is a virtue, it's just too bad I can't master it. The person I am is actually so different than the one I put up in front of others. I just hope I won't become what I hate and I won't loose myself on the way. I hope I will remain alive.
In life, people usually play roles. Like I've heard so many times, life itself is a theatre and we, the humans, are the actors on stage. I guess I never really thought more into this. It was just an affirmation, nothing more and nothing less. But, now I see what it actually means. In my life, on my stage, I've always played the role of a naive and silly girl. I liked to make people laugh and acted stupid and oblivious to what was happening around me but there's more than what I show. I have a brain and I like to create something from nothing. I write, I compose music, I think a lot about many things and I am so much different. I don't show my feelings because I'm afraid I'll be found out. I know there's someone who understands me completely; I just have to wait. Patience is a virtue, it's just too bad I can't master it. The person I am is actually so different than the one I put up in front of others. I just hope I won't become what I hate and I won't loose myself on the way. I hope I will remain alive.
joi, 9 august 2012
여섯째 글자
Dear Anonymous,
You know, lately I started to think more realistically. Life is so surprising. I just started to think of it as water. In the end, there are a lot of people who say that life is flowing through the universe; it's a continuous river. That's what each life signifies and they all meet and create an ocean; the Universe itself. But, at the bottom of each river there should be a few rocks.Why rocks you may wonder? Because they are what keep the river on a steady path.If there are not enough rocks then the wind will mess it up and also, will mess the balance therefore the calmness will disappear. The river will become aimless and will lose itself and its meaning.
I believe that's how life is. We each have a meaning and like the rivers, we need rocks to keep us on a right path. Personal relationships like friendship or love, people who accept us how we are, those are life's rocks. The wind may as well be the crowd, the society...if we lose our aim and we leave ourselves be changed then we lose our meaning and we become common. I don't want to be another face in the crowd. I want to grow into someone who respects and is respected and I want to be a good influence on whoever I meet.
You know, lately I started to think more realistically. Life is so surprising. I just started to think of it as water. In the end, there are a lot of people who say that life is flowing through the universe; it's a continuous river. That's what each life signifies and they all meet and create an ocean; the Universe itself. But, at the bottom of each river there should be a few rocks.Why rocks you may wonder? Because they are what keep the river on a steady path.If there are not enough rocks then the wind will mess it up and also, will mess the balance therefore the calmness will disappear. The river will become aimless and will lose itself and its meaning.
I believe that's how life is. We each have a meaning and like the rivers, we need rocks to keep us on a right path. Personal relationships like friendship or love, people who accept us how we are, those are life's rocks. The wind may as well be the crowd, the society...if we lose our aim and we leave ourselves be changed then we lose our meaning and we become common. I don't want to be another face in the crowd. I want to grow into someone who respects and is respected and I want to be a good influence on whoever I meet.
joi, 2 august 2012
다섯째 글자
Dear Anonymous,
I'm in my bed, and it's currently midnight. I feel like I'm looking at a picture yet there's nothing on it. It's all black. But even so, I'm looking after something. I can't understand why or for what. I feel so...naked. Something changes my life and I don't have the power to do anything to stop it. I just...feel it. It's so overwhelming but it doesn't scare me; more like I get very enthusiastic. It's all so weird. Remember how people say that we can't change our destiny and whatever is written for us, we have to go through it? I think I got too curious as in what's in store for me and I'm digging to deep. However, I do take responsibility over it. I just wish I could know what I'm looking after right now.
I'm in my bed, and it's currently midnight. I feel like I'm looking at a picture yet there's nothing on it. It's all black. But even so, I'm looking after something. I can't understand why or for what. I feel so...naked. Something changes my life and I don't have the power to do anything to stop it. I just...feel it. It's so overwhelming but it doesn't scare me; more like I get very enthusiastic. It's all so weird. Remember how people say that we can't change our destiny and whatever is written for us, we have to go through it? I think I got too curious as in what's in store for me and I'm digging to deep. However, I do take responsibility over it. I just wish I could know what I'm looking after right now.
duminică, 22 iulie 2012
네번째 편지
Dear Anonymous,
I feel so bad yet I think I'm the only one hurt. Maybe I'm selfish and don't know what I'm talking about but...I have a big knot in my stomach. I feel wronged yet I feel like I've done something wrong too. I guess I'm torn between feeling guilty and feeling hurt. Shouldn't friends be the ones who are always there for you? I feel like my own just left me. I feel lonely and there's no one I can go to, no one I can talk to about my feelings right now. Usually when there's a fight between friends, they end up being even closer when they make up but somehow... I don't think that's the case here. I am a complicated person, I know I am a jerk and I have my own bad parts but shouldn't friends accept each other? Shouldn't friends understand when something goes wrong? Shouldn't they care and try to act nice when you have a problem? Then why...why do I feel so bad right now? Like, my friends just chose to ignore my existence because lately I haven't been able to walk around happily and hang out with them...
I'm sorry for myself...and I'm sorry to them too...
vineri, 20 iulie 2012
세 번째 글자
Dear Anonymous,
If the world would end tomorrow, I don't think I would have something I specifically want.I had everything in life, I had to work hard to obtain this feeling of fulfilment. Just I know the risks, the times I spent in a dark room, all alone, trying to encourage myself, telling myself that I can't give up, I can't go home yet. I have a path and I chose it so I should take responsibility. That's my destiny. I'm human, I'm a dreamer and I can't accept reality, I don't like it so I often think I should change it. If I can't change the world, then, I can create one of mine. But I'm selfish and ignorant. There's an element I don't have and that's love. While I tried to achieve my goal I forgot how lonely it feels to be on your own. What does this fulfilment mean without someone you can share it with? What is better? To be lonely or to be alone?
If the world would end tomorrow, I don't think I would have something I specifically want.I had everything in life, I had to work hard to obtain this feeling of fulfilment. Just I know the risks, the times I spent in a dark room, all alone, trying to encourage myself, telling myself that I can't give up, I can't go home yet. I have a path and I chose it so I should take responsibility. That's my destiny. I'm human, I'm a dreamer and I can't accept reality, I don't like it so I often think I should change it. If I can't change the world, then, I can create one of mine. But I'm selfish and ignorant. There's an element I don't have and that's love. While I tried to achieve my goal I forgot how lonely it feels to be on your own. What does this fulfilment mean without someone you can share it with? What is better? To be lonely or to be alone?
luni, 9 iulie 2012
두 번째 글자
Dear Anonymous,
I tried so hard to stay away from you but I ended up getting closer. Now, I lay in bed and try to forget the times we spent together. I'm afraid I might not be able to erase the image of your face from my mind but I can't seem to regret. Out there, out there has to be someone who can understand me. I just hope I will get to him in time. I hope he will be able to feel the bond between us and accept me. Even if that won't happen, I will continue to believe that hope is what changes the fate and I shall not hold any regrets. If I can't find you, then...maybe you may be able to find me. You, the person I'm linked to without doing anything, my one true love.
첫 글자
Dear Anonymous,
Would it be fair to say I've never believed in fate and true love before? Of course, it would be all a lie now since I have been strongly influenced by fate all along towards my true love and even though the path was full of mistakes...I don't regret anything at all.
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