여덟 번째 편지

Dear Anonymous,

I swore that I will never fall in love. I was scared that at some point I will become overwhelmed by emotions and unspoken words. I am old enough to experience this feeling and take responsibility of it but I never cared about it. I never thought that I will fall in love. Unfortunately, I did. I thought it may be just another crush but it became more each passing day. Now, I watch my reflection in the mirror and ask: What did I become? When did I change so much? Will I overcome the hardships of this love? Will I be able to take responsibility?  I do not know the answer but this love is slowly taking over my sanity. 

You know how people often say that love is blind? Well, my love is not. However, it is very subtle. I'm not romantic and I'm pretty complicated. I had often been tossed aside when I was getting too handful. I got so accustomed to that feeling. I guess I became strong because of it so how did I end up thinking so innocently? Now, the tables have been turned upside down. There's no war inside me but sometimes I am afraid that it's a war outside. A spiritual war where each side pulls the thin rope more and more. It gets tiring and sometimes I just want to give up but the other side pulls the rope and we get closer. However, we are never too close. I'm wondering for how long will I have to wait, if my feelings are shared equally. I have a  lot of questions and there is not enough time for answers. There is never enough time...