Someone once said “You do not choose your faith, instead, you are chosen by it.” Truthfully, I never cared about these words before. I never needed to. However, after I changed my view over the world and over my life, I started to wonder…
It was a bright day which announced the summer break. After a long year of learning and working for my supposedly future, I really needed a break. It was ambiguous how my mood was exactly the opposite of the weather. However, it did feel nice; the heat on my skin, the freshness of the morning, all of these elements were enjoyable. The streets were bewildered with people who were definitely fast for their height. I was walking aimlessly through Tokyo. My thoughts were going from one subject to another, ending with a inner battle. I felt quite empty which wasn’t exactly a characteristic of mine but, lately, I just started to wonder if my place was where I was. Had it been my idea to finish a college in Japan? Was my dream to finish management and business? I did wonder…Had I been wasting time for nothing?
A small brunette sighed while she placed her hands on the railing. The city was crowded on a daily basis yet that day seemed to be suffocating. Maybe it was because of the freshness of summer, maybe the heat got everyone to enjoy the outside. Who knew? There were children who were playing around, women trying to move through them, teenagers gossiping, there was even a clown! Overall, the view was marvellous and those were also the thoughts of a photographer who didn't dare to miss such scenery. He took pictures for every detail: every group wandering around, every expression and every move. Also, he couldn't stop himself from taking a shot of the foreigner woman besides the bridge. Her hair was loose and the tips were curled, maybe from humidity; her body was small but compared to Japanese women she was definitely more curved; her eyes were fixed on a spot, like she was searching for something which seemed so far away. She looked beautiful. Without noticing, the man walked closer to her. He couldn't resist the force that seemed to bring him closer. To look manlier, and try not to freak her out, he took another picture of her.
He had his camera in front of his eyes and was very concentrated so, he didn't remark that she turned her head and was looking at him. He got perplexed when his objective met a pair of beautiful green eyes.
Since she looked like a foreigner, and she was one, he thought she wouldn't know Japanese, so he excused himself in broken English. She was completely uninterested. She wasn't preoccupied at all by his presence since in the next second she turned into the same position he had found her. He sighed. He leaned one hand on the bridge and watched the beautiful scenery. The water was calm and clear. There were fishes swimming here and there. He could actually see the path they were going on. He grabbed his camera and started to take pictures almost as an instinct.
Sensing that she had been probably too ignorant and impolite, the woman turned her head towards him. She started to watch him closely, every move and every smile he had when he was satisfied of his shoots.
He stopped mid-action and glanced at her. He put his camera down and chuckled, almost nervously. He wasn't actually expecting a response from her, to begin with.
“About the pictures you took of me. It’s alright.” He nodded and smiled to himself. Somehow he felt as if he should start a conversation. It was awkward.
“Where-uh-from-“He stopped, trying to find the right translation. She raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“Oh. Where am I from?” Her response was in smooth Japanese. He stopped and laughed at his thoughts. How could he not think she might have known Japanese? “I’m from England but I’ve been in Tokyo for 3 years now.” She titled her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “Any more questions?” He sighed and brushed a hand through his hair.
“What are you looking for?” His question ran deeper than he intentioned. Her mood instantly dropped from superiority to depression. She sighed heavily and turned to look over the lake.
“I don’t know. A reason maybe.”
She furrowed her eyebrows, thinking, while he simply copied her actions.
“Answers to what?”
She sighed again and fully turned to him. She leaned one hand on the bridge and titled her head to the side, again. He simply stood still..
“Life is quite long don’t you think?” Hearing such words, the poor man thought he might have started a conversation with a woman who wanted to commit suicide.
“There are people who would like to tell you otherwise.” She scoffed.
“There needs a reason to live, right? But what happens when that reason changes?” That seemed to perplex him for a second.
“I guess…” He mumbled, confused. “ I've always thought it’s better to follow the wind. Life is often misunderstood and when you get fed up with it, you choose the easy way out.” She continued to watch him. His theory sounded quite philosophical and she was curious to hear it out. “I believe there there’s also good in life. You can’t expect happiness to fall from the sky. You have to sweat for it.” He glanced to her. She seemed to analyse his words.
He walked a little bit closer to her and smiled. She raised her head and looked into his eyes. It was hard to understand what was going through her head and her eyes weren't a help either.
“What do you need to make you happy right now?” She blinked. When she realized what he had asked, she opened her mouth yet no sound came out. She had no idea.
“Anything, I guess,”
He bit his lip and started to think about his next move. He caught glance of two people, two lovers, who were very intrigued by the clown’s actions. He grabbed her hand and knew exactly where and how to plant a smile on her lips. Even if he didn't know her, he didn't care.
He was my mind.
Against what he believed in, he was that happiness which just fell from the sky.