Bittersweet

For almost half of that day, the work she had went smoothly. She didn’t take any break so she could finish faster. She behaved as nice and natural as she could and she was rewarded with different praises or even gifts. What surprised her even more were the readers themselves. They were young. Their words got her thinking a lot…

“I really like Taka-kun but it’s clear he should have made a move right then!”

“Anna-sama, why did you make Taka-kun and Nana-chan think so much about their relationship?”

“Because of this book, I got the courage to ask out the girl I like”

“Thank you for making me feel secure. Now I believe somewhere out there is my own Taka-kun!”

Those kind of small lines made her think deeper about her own life and about her own destiny. She might have changed and helped some youngsters but she might have also destroyed chances and relationships. It was a bitter sweet love story; it was a bitter sweet life she was living but most importantly, that bitter sweet emotion of love left her before it could blossom.

“Excuse me?” She looked up for her next fan but instead of a young girl or a young boy she met a pair of brown eyes which she hadn't seen in 3 years. “Can I get a hug with your autograph?” Anna chuckled and placed the marker on the table. She was ready to give her old friend a hug but Sato-san grabbed one of her hands.

“ I'm sorry but if you give this customer a hug you may have to give one to all of them” He whispered loud enough for her ears only. She got freaked out at the thought of having to raise so much and nodded towards her manager.

“ I'm sorry but I can’t right now. However” She signed the book and on the left corner she wrote down her phone number. “Can you call me around 6 o'clock?  I'm pretty sure that’s when the event will close up. We can talk then about anything you want.” The woman nodded and while on her way to the door, she made a peace sign. Anna chuckled happily and continued with her schedule.

Later that day, she couldn't feel her right hand. She signed about 100 books in total and even though she sat down the whole time, her butt was feeling sore. While she was waiting for her agent to finish up the program, she massaged her sore neck. For a moment she forgot about her old friend and everything she wanted was to go home and sleep. When she was imagining the whole scenario of the relaxation she could have, her phone rang.

“Good morning sunshine! It’s past 6, I'm sorry I took so long!” Her friend’ voice was really loud and on the background was also noise from the cars.

“Mizuki…I thought you may take a few days to actually call” The old party girl scoffed into the phone and yelled for someone to move faster.

“I had to get out for a few groceries and now that my brother came and freed me, I was wondering if you could come and have a cup of tea with me” Anna started to laugh, though it didn't sound too noisy or too pitched. However, since her voice was nasal, it did sound funny.

“ I'm pretty sure that in your language ‘tea’ is the word for ‘alcohol’ and you’re not wondering if I can come, you’re instructing me. That’s been already decided.”   

“You know me too well; move to the bar right now.” The younger woman smiled, even though Sato-san was the only one who could notice. She agreed to meet Mizuki at some random place she decided upon and left anything else in the hands of her tired manager.

Unfortunately, the bar Mizuki instructed Anna to go was in Shibuya. The good news was that it was placed somewhere in a quieter part of it. It was fairly easy to spot the small brunette. She was the only person drinking shot after shot without looking the bit affected. Anna chuckled silently and sat next to her friend.

“Ah, Anna-chan!” She took the time to hug her younger friend but started to drink right after she let go.  “It’s been such a long time. I can’t believe you left me hanging.”

“I didn't.  I told you about my departure 6 months before I actually left. I sent you emails and even called you once. You didn't pick up the phone and you didn't respond.” Anna raised one eyebrow, somehow waiting for an irrational response from her friend. Surprisingly, Mizuki shrugged innocently.

“Life…” Anna got taken back by that kind of answer but it didn't surprise her fully. In the time she hadn't seen Mizuki, she found out things about her from her younger brother, Kazuki. It seemed that the fun girl she once met transformed into an extraordinary surgeon and forgot completely what the word ‘fun’ meant.

“You do know I talked with Kazuki and he told me about your affairs and whatnot, right?” She couldn't respond to Anna since she was just sipping continuously from her glass of alcohol but instead, she just waved chaotically.  “You don’t have time to go out because you are an important asset to the hospital; you don’t have time for a relationship and not even one guy you went out with could understand your schedule” She sighed and hung her head. “It is really life or we are just getting too old for these things?” Mizuki rolled her eyes and told the bartender to give her another glass of whatever alcohol she was infecting her body.

“Actually, I have a date tomorrow. I met this guy through an international friend. He’s half Japanese and half American. I just know he works in business and his father own a chain of hotels throughout the whole world. He has a few in Japan too.” She sighed and placed her head on the barstool.  

“ Shouldn't you be hyperactive right now? That’s not an easy prey and you found it easily.” She closed her eyes and sighed.

“I should but he’s not going to come alone.” Anna leaned closer to hear her explanation better. Mizuki didn't seem drunk but she wast talking in a way you couldn't be sure. “He said he has a friend who, in his point of view, needs a little help regarding his romantic life. He told me to bring someone but that’s impossible! My friends are all ta-“Her eyes widened and glanced to the empty glass in front of her. “Or maybe not…” She mumbled to herself. In the next second, Mizuki transited from being depressive and sorry for her own self into a happy and optimistic bubble. She started to giggle while she started to rub her hands together. Anna found herself in a corner where she couldn't escape no more.

“You want me to come, don’t you?” Mizuki nodded happily while smiling widely. Anna titled her head to one side and smiled cutely, which didn't happen in a long time. “You want me to get this other guy with romantic issues so you can have an amazing date with yours.” She nodded again, containing the same expression. Anna shook her head and sighed. “Count me out” Mizuki was ready to nod again but registered fast the response she got.

“Come on! How hard can it be! Chris told me so many things about his friend and how lost in the Universe he is. Who knows, you may actually like him! Come on, come on, come on, come-“

“I already know you won’t stop until I agree” Mizuki nodded with pleading eyes. “I guess it won’t hurt” The older woman was so excited that she jumped on her younger friend and hugged her tightly, repeating for a while how thankful she was and how great it will be.

Signing Event

As if he didn't have enough courage to boss her when they just met after 3 years, he waltzed inside her apartment as if he just entered his own house. He walked towards the couch and jumped on it, placing his hand behind his head.

“It still feels like College.” She rolled her eyes and moved his feet, which were dangling from one side of the couch. “Seriously! I missed hanging around your apartment.” He continued, getting into a normal position. “Remember? Back then it was just you, me and Mizuki and we had an amazing time! I was the hotshot designer, you were the lazy and misunderstood English beauty and Mizuki was the party girl! We were awesome…ah memories…” He started to rub his chin, making different noises.

Anna chuckled and patted his head.

“It’s ok. I'm sure we can still have fun. We’re still young.”

 Her words didn't seem to affect Takeshi in any way. He was that one type of man who never really cared about what was happening around him as long as it didn't concern his being. Takeshi didn't change much mentally. He was the same 24 years old fashion rookie who wanted to surpass his mother’s name. He made his purpose clear even from the first time they met. She could still remember how enthusiastic and positive he was. However, as she looked at him closer, physically he did change a lot. He became taller, his eyes seemed to hold much more experience than she would have expected, his hair colour changed from the rebellious blonde to serious and stylish black. Everything about his appearance changed. He had definitely grown up well.  

“Are you still lost in Anna’s World?” She blinked. The transition from her own thoughts to reality took a few seconds, making her look either really perplexed either dumb. However, Takeshi knew well enough whom he was dealing with. In his eyes, Anna could have done a lot more than she left it out. There wasn't just one time he asked her to pose for him or become a model altogether. She never liked fame. All she ever wanted was to feel accomplished and find happiness.  She was such a simple person and he wondered when she had changed.

“Is it nice there?” She raised an eyebrow and made a small questioning noise. He laughed and pinched her cheek, which obviously annoyed her. “You’re such a child. I'm really curious what you've done these past years.” He took his hands back and changed his position so he could feel more comfortable. “ I'm ready to listen.” She scoffed and shook her head but she knew she could trust him and so she started to tell him everything…everything except some little detail.

The next day, when she woke up, she realized that Takeshi’s visit livened up her mood and the whole apartment. Trying to think positively, she picked a short, summer dress; put a long and thin brown sweater over it; grabbed a pair of high heels, surprisingly and for the hair, she simply made a small bun, leaving her bangs loose. She actually looked very pretty and the thin make up gave her a fresh appearance. She was definitely ready to sign books for the entire day.

When she arrived at the specific place, which was a book store from a near Mall, there was absolutely no one.

“Please, tell me the number of people got cut into half” She prayed silently. That didn't work because Sato san walked to her with a bright and full of fulfilment smile. She was doomed and there was no way out of the new world she was dragged into.

“Anna-san! I'm so pleased to see you. I hope you had the time to think everything over yesterday. I'm sorry if I threw you too fast into your new schedule but it had to be done.”

 What irritated her the most in that moment was how sorrowful he actually looked. He had a kind smile plastered on his face and his eyes seemed as sincere as possible. He wasn't putting on an act. He was genuinely worried for her and that itself changed Anna’s impression of him. He was young and he clearly wasn't married because he spent too much time on details. The light in which she started to see him was better and that meant the relationship between the two had chances to get also better.

“Oh!” The surprised sound he made was what brought her back to being attentive. “There are already a few customers coming! I'm so excited! This is actually the first time I organize a signing event!” He turned to her and bowed. “Let’s have a great day and work together nicely!” For a moment she felt sad but when she sat at the table and people started to come with such happy faces, her demeanour became the exactly opposite. She realized that she was the cause for those happy feelings, for those smiles and she felt proud.

Famous vs Anonymous

A few hours later and a few new phone calls later, she found herself in front of a restaurant across Tokyo Tower. The view was beautiful but her mood dropped in the moment she placed her foot inside the tiny building. It wasn't hard to figure who she was supposed to meet since he was the only man in a business suit, waving and smiling brightly at her. The table was placed on the more private area of the restaurant meant for the rich and busy.

“It’s really nice to meet you in person. I hope I didn't ask much.” She bowed politely and sat down. The smile her new agent had was very creepy. She wondered how he could put up such face for so long. “Let’s take it from the very first beginning.” She nodded and watched as he got up and bowed down to her. It felt a little overwhelming. “Hello, my name is Sato Yuji and I will be your new agent. Please take care of me.”

For a few seconds, she couldn't move or talk. Her eyes were wide truthfully, she was speechless. The man, Sato-san, sat back down and placed his hands on the table, business like.

“Now, Anna san, I would be delighted if we could work well together. Your schedule, in fact, isn’t as busy as Kitagawa san or Matsumoto san’s. However,” He took a break and grabbed an agenda from his bag. “You are the author of Lovers in Tokyo which soon will be adapted into a movie. You have many Japanese fans even if you may not believe it”

At the heavy word ‘fans’ Anna could feel how her heart started to beat faster and a little of her individuality dropped. Fans meant there would be people on the street who were most likely to recognize her and intrude in her personal space. She never wanted popularity and she was afraid of being idolized. She wanted to be an anonymous but surely enough that was not going to happen.

“And what am I expected to do?” Sato san chuckled and opened his agenda at one special page.

“There is a book signing tomorrow morning in Ginza. Prepare yourself because there are about 100 or more people planned to come” When she heard the number of people who were supposed to arrive for her, she gulped. It wasn't like she wasn't grateful but there were so many people.

“It will take ages to sign all of their books…” She mumbled, though it was loud enough for the agent to hear. He smiled and patted the page. She looked where he placed his finger and gasped.

“Why am I supposed to go there? Aren't this kind of promotions for the actors?”

On that page was written the name Shinjuku, a place in centre of Tokyo where most people go for shopping or different activities; that wasn't what surprised her.

“I will have to talk about my book and about my expectations in front of wanderers and an interviewer…” She continued. That indeed was one step ahead towards her famous life. She didn't expect that when she heard how praised her book was. 

“Yes. I heard you are a woman of words. I'm sure you will impress everyone.” She bit her lower lip and sighed. She wasn't sure about anything she had to do.

After she left the restaurant, and also a very cheerful Sato san, behind, she wandered the streets until she found herself back at the bridge where she first met Nao. She walked at a very slow pace towards the same place she stood 4 years earlier. She placed her hands on the railing, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The memories she tried to ignore for those years have surfaced.  

She opened her eyes when she heard a faint click. For a moment she expected to see him but instead, there was a married couple making pictures. She took the time to watch them, a small and melancholic smile curving on her lips. It was all so bittersweet.

“Excuse me,” She blinked a few times and got out of the trance she was deeply submerged. “Can you please take a picture of me and my wife?” It was the man she was earlier watching. He wanted a picture with his wife near the water. She smiled and nodded.

“Say cheese!” She tried to make the couple laugh and liven up the whole mood. She wasn't sure if she wanted the two to be happy or if she was simply trying to convince herself that one day she will also have the chance to do that.

On the path back home, she was deeply entranced by her selfishness. She wanted someone but at the same time, she didn't want just anyone.  Also, she had a stable stereotype of her ideal man and she knew well there was just one man that could surpass it. At those thoughts, she shook her head. It wasn't healthy to think like that. It wasn't healthy to even think about him.

“It’s all so wrong” She mumbled and grabbed a hand through her black hair.

“What’s wrong?” She opened her eyes widely and looked towards where she heard the manly voice.

“Takeshi” She whispered. That was definitely a surprise. The man, who didn't look a year older than her, was standing in front of the apartment building, his hands placed deep into his pants’ pockets. He titled his head to the left and smiled boyishly.

“Well? Are you going to give me a hug and say how much you missed me or I may as well leave?” She chuckled and did exactly as she was told. When he felt her tiny hands wrapping around his slender body, he loosened up and returned the gesture. “You still didn't tell me how much you-“

“Shut up” He chuckled and ruffled her hair. 

Music to the Ears (Nevermind's Shooting Star)

I completely fell for them. They are fresh and young and their music is actually not too K-pop! It sounds a lot like Warped bands when they were still at the beginning. It is supposed to be pop punk or something and it kind of sounds pop rock to me but it's different than FT Island and CN Blue or LedApple. It's an actual band with a vocalist, instrumentalists, they are 5 like on the old days. Also, their début song is really good and happy and gets you into a great mood.

The names, yeah, I still can't remember them because it's been just three days since I found them but let's see...

the vocalist, who looks a hell lot like Zico in my opinion, is G-One? I hope I got his stage name right. I like his voice and he seems about my age, and I'm currently 18 years old.

Next is the guitarist, who looks like a mix between Taemin and Daesung, Changha. They say he's born in '89 but that kid looks to be 20 at most.

G-Hoon is the bassist and he looks half like Jonghyun from CN Blue and half american. That's an interesting mix, that's sure. He's supposed to be 18 and he does look to be that young.

The last is the drummer with bright pink hair, Ino. He's also supposed to be born in '91 but...he looks to be about Zelo's age in my opinion. There's not a lot about them on internet and I understand why, I mean they are rookies of rookies in the end, but I'm really curious to know more. The video is so bright and smiley and I like it a lot. It's simple but not SM-simple and it reminds me of the old days...good times...

Here it is Nevermind's Shooting Star!

Music to the Ears(Super Junior M's Break Down)

Super Junior M came back with their newest and most listened song these days, Break Down. I don't adore it, I listened it just a few times and I wasn't very attracted by it. The video reminds me a lot about Super Girl and the dance...well the dance is cool. I like their looks mostly because they look like anime characters in some parts but I guess that's all.

The song itself has something that attracts you to listen and dance but for me it sounds exactly like the European club music which became a trend in the whole world. It's obvious that who composed this song is not Korean.  I do like how their voices sound and blend together, I do like some parts but it's still not enough for me. I kind of estranged myself from Super Junior because I just don't find them entertainingly enough and if we think closely, EXO is the only group from SM that I'm still somehow interested into. But that's my own view over their music and the group itself. I do have friends who are hardcore ELF's. But this song, it's fine but not wow. However, I do review it so it means it may as well be on your taste.

Music to the Ears (2YOON's 24/7)

I was really surprised that I enjoy listening to this song. At first, when my friend showed it to me, I thought it's just another song sung by two members of 4minute. However, now that I actually listen to it on my own is quite something. I like the beating sound on the background of the whole song and I believe the country style mixed with pop sounds really nice. It's very fresh and gets stuck in your mind. It's really easy to follow up and the song itself is simple so it's definitely a good start for 2Yoon. I didn't listen the whole album, at least not yet, but this single got me thinking and it has a good feedback that encourages you to listen to the rest too. 

I also liked the MV. It's really simple and somehow it took the country background from B1A4's Baby Goodnight. The whole plot is a little ambiguous and you figure it out just at the end when they have something like a little scene which explains more. Anyway, what captivated me more were the clothes. JiYoon wears some very interesting outfits during the whole video and I didn't know what to do: laugh or try to get over it saying how I don't understand their fashion concepts. Well, anyway, the dance is also really cute. Like, very, very cute and easy. It's really fun and I got into it rather fast. Anyone can learn it and I guess there will appear some dance covers after it on internet. Usually, easy dances are enjoyable so yeah, I'm looking forward on that.

Goodbye Individuality

In the morning of the departure, everyone from the publishing company was there, taking their own farewells from Anna. She knew half of them were there because of Henry, who was their boss, but also, half were people she came in contact with and were simply doing something nice with no evil intention.

                              

“We’ll miss you!” From the moment they walked out of the apartment, Rosie found vital to let Anna know how much she will be missed. Henry, on the other side, seemed annoyed by the blonde and pushed her aside.

“Call me when you land. Also, if something happens, call me and I’ll fly there in an instant.” Anna rolled her eyes, knowingly.

When her flight had been called on the station, she hugged each person and waved goodbye to them. On the way to the plane, her only thoughts were about how much everything will change when she will get back. It was obvious something will happen and she was curious what and how much it would affect her.

The whole flight, consisting of 24 hours, Anna read every article she could find about the two actors who were going to play her characters and also, the director. She found nothing bad about either of them and seemed to be satisfied with the information.

When the plane landed, she was truthfully happy. Though she didn’t want to admit it, she definitely missed Tokyo. She walked at a normal pace to get her luggage, which wasn’t much, and tried to reminisce the first time she placed foot on Japanese land.  She chuckled when she remembered how scared she was. She was just 18 years old, a young age to start living on your own, but her parents gave her everything she wanted and needed and the only thing they wanted in return was for their daughter to follow her father’s steps. She enrolled into Tokyo University on a subject she wasn’t very interested in. However, that whole time she spent in Tokyo hadn’t been bad. She made friends and eventually, met him.

The memories of his face and the moments they spent together; that one day seemed like it never ended. When she returned to England, for the first two months he was everything she could think about and it hurt. He didn’t contact her and she didn’t try to look for him. Why should had? They knew it wasn’t meant to last.

She seemed so occupied by her own Universe that she couldn’t see the small details around her. Those small details would have changed her life. A man in his mid twenties just returned from Europe too and he walked right past the thoughtful woman. They didn’t realize.

I didn’t realize it…but I never stopped asking myself…Why?

“I’m glad to see you, Anna-chan!” The landlady was more enthusiastic about her return than she was. Miss Tsubaki had always been a nice woman with whom Anna could talk about absolutely anything, even boys related problems. She had seen Nao walking out of Anna’s apartment that morning and she had also seen how he hesitated for a few seconds to leave. However, she never spoke a word. She couldn’t.

“Had there been someone who asked about me these few years?” Tsubaki thought a few minutes. She was debating if she should tell her about the man whose name she didn’t know or about the small remnants.

“There was a guy who came by and asked me when you will come back. I think his name was Takeshi.” Anna smiled softly and nodded before opening the door and walking inside.

 She left her luggage in the hall and walked deeper into the apartment. She tried to be happy that one of her best Japanese friends came by and didn’t forget her but she was equally disappointed that he whom was far more interesting never turned his head to look behind.

A few hours later, after she re-accustomed to the surroundings, Anna went to her favorite place in Tokyo. As soon as she entered, the bartender called for her instantly. She walked to him smiling happily.

“Look who is back! The English beauty!” Anna laughed and punched his arm playfully.

“You know, when people say some things never change they definitely think back of lousy bartenders who are still in College” The younger boy smirked and pinched her cheek. He knew how much she hated that. However, she caught his finger before it could reach her soft skin.

“I read your book,” She rolled her eyes and sat on the chair right in front of him. “You finished business and you work as a writer. How poorly did you end up?” He spoke his words carefully as not to offense her. She knew he was just joking. He had been one of her good friends for a while and she knew him well enough.

“I changed my mind” The bartender raised an eyebrow and leaned on the hand he had on the bar. “I did follow my father’s path and finished business in Tokyo but I choose my own path afterwards” The boy smiled and ruffled her hair. “What about you, Kyoya? Are you going to ever finish College?” He playfully glared at her and smirked.

“I started three and ended up with a fourth. I work my ass off for a raise so I can buy a real violin”

Anna almost forgot her friend was a music prodigy. He had offered a few times to play for her but she never had the chance to agree. There would always come something which had to be done and she wouldn’t have available time.

She ended up spending the whole day talking with her favorite bartender. He had the talent to make people forget about their problems and simply enjoy the present. When she left, she felt heavily lonely. The apartment was empty. There was no soul to accompany the owner and so it got her into a melancholic mood.

“Now I remember why I agreed to leave Rosie live with me…” She scoffed but it wasn’t in a mean way. A smile appeared on her face right after. Rosie reminded her of Kyoya.  They were both loud and always complaining about something but at the same time, they had a big heart and never ceased to amaze her with their ideas.

The next day, right in the early morning, the alarm didn’t even have the time to announce the hour because the phone rang. Groggily, Anna stuck her hand out of the comfortable pillow and searched for the device. Even though it was really close, on the desk, she couldn’t find it. For that, she opened her eyes and finally responded.

“Is this Anna Bolt? I am your agent." For a moment she couldn't comprehend the new information. However, when she finally registered, her sleepy posture tensed and she fully opened her eyes.

"Why do I need an agent? I have been sent here to witness the production right?" The chuckle coming from the other side sounded quite youthful which meant she was talking to a man who had less than 30 years old.

"Indeed. However, the producing company decided you should take part in the promotions. I would like us to meet and talk about your schedule for the next few months."

While the other part hung up, Anna’s mind went overdrive. Firstly, the single action of returning to Japan seemed to make her feel like she may not return to England and secondly, an agent would mean she had some gram of fame, which she definitely didn’t want. That single fact of having an agent meant she could already say goodbye to individuality. Realizing such information she groaned and placed the pillow over her face. 

Music to the Ears (BAP's Rain Sound)

There are so many BABYz there so I'm sure everyone will be happy to read this post. BAP's newest song had just blown me up! It's such a nice sad song. I had big expectations from them, truthfully. I like all of their earlier work and I can't say I've been disappointed by any of their songs. I'm pretty proud of these guys, you know. They worked continuously on their stages and comebacks and I hope they do rest too. No career is more important than health.

Rain Sound didn't seem too special from the teasers. Moreover, I was so concentrated on the MV that I couldn't really put my hand on the song. However, when you listen just the song, it's really nice. It gives off a different, more melancholic feeling to it and the whole song becomes deeper and meaningful. Hearing Jongup sing from the beginning, right after YongGuk, it felt a little bit weird but I'm thankful. However, when I heard Himchan's part, which consists of some talking in that deep sexy voice of his, and later on sing a little bit, it simply touched me. What melt my heart and simply gave me a huge blow was Zelo. His part is so heartbreaking but at the same time you can realize he'd matured and...aish...seriously, he was just the cherry on top of the whole song. I have no more words. The song is so beautiful

Now, the song is great but the MV, not really. I'm already warning you that I will say a lot of good things about Zelo. It's really obvious they can't act at all. There's a part where they get shot and I guess that's the scene where you realize what is their job. YongGuk and JongUp tried their best. It was alright for them but it was just that one part they exceeded on. I believe Zelo did the best out of them all. It broke my heart to see him 'crying'. Himchan's eyes expressed the feeling well but when they did a close up on them I didn't get the same feeling like I did from Zelo. That maknae kills me. And he's still under age...But he really looks good. The whole childish image he had disappeared and he looked like a grown up young man who suffers from the depth of his heart. I'm a person who doesn't get impressed easily but damn this little tall guy really got me this time.

I like how they got into the trend-> everything happens in one room where magically they appeared. However they do not know of each other except when they're dancing, which doesn't happen much. Also, there seems to be a lot of things breaking and there's a lot of angst. Yep. They got it right.

Anyway, leaving any jokes aside, the song is wonderful. It's actually really catchy once you give it a second listen and there's a story which is expressed good enough to be understood. Yeah. Definitely a good song.

Turned Japanese

The next morning, the silence of the house got interrupted by the annoyingly continuous ringing of a phone. The one to get up and respond was definitely not the one with a heavy headache and a hangover.

“Hello?” Anna wasn't the one that started the conversation. The person on the other side seemed too eager. “Anna, I have such big new for you! They’re humongous actually!” The sleepy woman just agreed with a sound. “It seems your book got sell so well in Japan that they want to transform it into a movie! Can you believe it?” Anna took a small pause, to register what she had been told, and truthfully, she didn't get too excited. “ Shouldn't you be more enthusiastic about this?” She shrugged and sat up. Looking around, she didn't even realize she had fallen asleep while channel surfing last night.

“I am; it’s just too early. So, what do you want me to do?” The voice from the other side scoffed.

“They already found a cast and dealt with everything regarding the script. All you have to do is to fly to Japan and to witness your hard work being paid off.” She grabbed her messy hair and started to pat it while one hand went to scratch her eye. “Are you listening to me? Pack up; you’re leaving in two days.”

“For how long?” She asked sleepily while making her way into the kitchen.

“Undefined time” That was all before the line went silent. Anna groaned and scratched her back.

“Damn…” She mumbled in Japanese.

Later that day, Anna was on her way to the publisher’s office. It seemed she got a phone call, that she didn't actually receive, which was telling her to come by for a pep talk right before becoming internationally famous.

When she opened the door, she almost fell on her back. There were a lot of people, doing practically nothing except talking on the phone. The editor was nowhere to be seen while the publisher who dealt with every mood of hers was silently typing on his computer. He noticed her instantly and waved. She couldn't fake any expression while being around him. He had known her for too long not to notice.

“Remember what day was when you walked in this exactly room and asked for a chance?”

His soft and deep voice sounded perfect for storytelling. He was very attentive to what words he would use and his black eyes were even more beautiful behind those glasses. His messy black hair was recently cut, maybe because of his negative reaction when his father told him he resembled a girl before. The truth was that for his age, which was recently 27, he looked definitely younger. His cheekbones where thin and the bone was easily seen, making that his beauty mark. He was quite fashionable too. He loved to dress differently every day, mostly because he had to waltz from office to office and also go to important balls or meetings. 

“If I remember correctly, that’s the same question you ask me every time I take a break.” He chuckled and hugged her.

In his arms, she could feel safe. That was mainly why he was the shoulder she could any time cry on. He was that best guy who might have been in love with his best friend since forever but would not tell a word so that she would find her own happiness. She knew that but she also knew he resembled that man too much and that was the main reason she didn't want to destroy a beautiful friendship over love matters.

“I heard you’re going back to Japan.” She nodded while he gave her a pack of cookies. She raised an eyebrow, confused, but took one nonetheless. It felt fresh which meant his mother just paid him a visit.  “Are you going to look after him?” The tone of his voice was obviously telling exactly the otherwise. ‘You shouldn't look for him. Your place is here.’ That was the translation. Also, that was what Anna heard too.

“The truth is that I don’t know. I choose to follow the natural turn of events and here I am, talking with you” She stopped and bent her head. She placed the cookies back on his desk and bit her lip. “I don’t know what I want, Henry. I just know that if I will meet him again, even though it’s improbable, I won’t hesitate to tell him what I feel” He nodded and tried to change the mood he tangled her into.

“Do you remember where I took you after you’re first published book?” She stuck her tongue out a little, thinking.

“My first published book was ‘Black Water’ which had a horrible subject. You took me to…a graveyard?” She titled her head, not reconciling that moment well. Henry widened her eyes in amusement and started to laugh.

“No, no.” The laughter died a little and he grabbed a hand through his hair, getting it even messier. “It was that bohemian tea house. You said back then that it reminded you of the good old times, whatever were those” She remembered. That tea house was abnormally looking like the one from Tokyo. The so called good old times were the moments she talked about nonsense with that man.

“Do you want to go there? Can you leave?” She asked, sounding to be in a hurry. He chuckled and ruffled her hair.

“Of course I can. I own this place, in case you had forgotten.” She rolled her eyes and pushed him playfully. He was exactly what she needed when she returned to London and in those moments he was exactly the person she didn't want to say goodbye to.

When she got home, which happened to be really late at night, Rosie was silently waiting while making popcorn. The microwave signalled the finished product at the same time Anna closed the door behind her.

“You came just in time!” The blonde was trying to open the pack but it was too hot and she almost burned her fingers. “Ouch! It’s so difficult” Anna rolled her eyes and walked towards her younger friend. On the way she gave her overcoat down and placed it on the chair. She easily broke the bag and put the popcorn into a bowl.

“It wasn't that hard, was it?” Rosie stuck her tongue out as a response. She grabbed Anna’s hand and went into the living room. She grabbed the coffee table and moved it aside. She planted herself in front of the couch and patted the place next to her. Anna simply complied and waited to see what her friend had in store for her.

“So, since I'm really curious how your movie-“

“It’s not mine. Only the plot is” Rosie looked unfazed at her and continued with her idea.

“Well I heard some hot actors will play important roles. For example the Taka guy. He’s the most important man in the whole book and he has to look handsome. From what I found on internet, Taka will be played by Matsumoto Jun. Wow, Anna!” She rolled her eyes and turned to her flat mate with a peculiar expression. “He played in so many awesome dramas and movies! Oh look!  Hana Yori Dango! That drama we watched together!”

“More like you made me watch it and translate it.” She smiled sweetly to Anna and went back to her business.

“Also, Nana’s role will be played by a Japanese woman.” Anna raised an eyebrow, her attention, which was earlier on the popcorn, went instantly to her friend. “It says right here!” She pointed to her laptop’s screen. “Japanese actress Keiko Kitagawa will play Nana’s character. Originally, the character was Caucasian but the director changed slightly some characteristics” She took a break and glanced to the brunette. She seemed deep in thoughts.

“So Nana became Japanese…” She mumbled. Rosie nodded and patted her friend’s head.

“It’s ok. That doesn't change the past. Nana is still British but is played by a Japanese actress and-“She stopped when she heard the elder started to laugh.

“ I'm Japanese” Rosie was dumbfounded. “They made me Japanese. That’s something. And the actor who plays Nao…” She stared at his picture and started to chuckle. “He looks nothing like him” Rosie shrugged and scrolled down. She actually started to read the whole article out loud. Anna started to laugh over some facts and seemed very intrigued by the concept the movie will have.

They didn't respect my plot. But, didn't that mean the distance between these two characters was so big that even the actors who were going to play them were completely different? It was strange. I did feel rejected a little bit. It wasn't my plot. It wasn't my life. What they were doing was just a new scenario because truthfully, there was no ending to the real story.

The next few days flew too fast for my condition. I spent them with Rosie and Henry in the apartment or simply walking around London. It felt nice but I knew when I will be back, again, something would be changed. I planned the whole departure; my apartment in Tokyo was still intact and awaiting. At some level, I was afraid but I was equally enthusiastic. 

**so I kind of used Matsu Jun and Keiko Kitagawa because they are actors I admire greatly and they just seemed to fit in I guess...also in my dream (because I did dream this whole story) Nao looked more like Osamu Mukai (I watched too many dramas with him lately). And as for Anna...well she kind of looked like a mix between Lucy Hale and Nina Dobrev. 

***Oh oh and this story is like...a story into a story. I've seen that people didn't understand that. Anna is actually  Nana and because she couldn't use his name in the book, Nao is Taka. And the book she wrote and people make a big fuss about, is actually based on that day when they met. That's all.

Bokura ga Ita

Recently, which means last night/morning, I watched Bokura ga Ita, both movies. I haven't seen the anime and haven't read the manga yet and I'm not sure if I can do it any more. I will be sincere: I cried rivers. I wasn't so touched by the first movie how much the second had blown me away. It was like we all knew they should end together, it was obvious but they were just putting each other away like it was ok, like their love was powerful enough to be kept but not shared. It was annoying! And then the end came and I kind of really burst out crying. It was really deep everything and there are some quotes which really ran deeper into my soul than I expected. There are also life lessons that can show you how cruel reality can get sometimes.

So, for those who haven't seen it and don't have the slightest idea of what I'm talking, Bokura ga Ita is originally a romantic manga written by Yuki Obata. It also has an anime and two movies. The plot is...big and complicated. You really have to watch it from the very first beginning to understand it. The movies have a lot of details in them, that's why there's part 1 and part 2, but you have to be completely immersed into it. I regretted how entranced I was by the plot because it really had  a big impact on me but everyone's different. But I assure you, you will definitely cry.

Anyway, Nanami Takahashi (Yuriko Yoshitaka), a teenage girl in her first year of high school, hopes to make new friends quickly. The center of attention at her school is Motoharu Yano (Toma Ikuta), a very popular boy, whom Nanami dislikes at the beginning, due to his apparent superficiality. However, she soon falls in love with him, but Yano is still affected by the loss of his girlfriend, Nana Yamamoto. From here on there are more difficulties but life apparently seems happier and brighter. It mainly concentrates on their relationship and the growing attachment between them but of course, there's a lot of drama. However, in the second part, the whole action happens four years later. Yano and Nanami still kept in contact (since she left for a better University) but at some point he doesn't contact her any more. Both sides of the story are told and you can see things from Yano's point of view too. It's really interesting but it made me so annoyed at some parts, like I said. 

When it comes to acting, Toma Ikuta is my third favourite and I seriously love that man as an actor. He's awesome and he really knows how to show the character's emotions. He has talent and he's also really cute. Also, Yoshitaka Yuriko plays Nanami really well. I was surprised to see how good she was and how much her acting touched me. 

You should totally watch it. Both movies, anime and read manga!

Summer Rescue

Another drama, and the only one, I finished these few weeks is Summer Rescue. It may not sound too interesting, the title doesn't really express much and it kind of sends you to think about some old and boring show but it's definitely not. I do recognize I started to watch it because of Osamu Mukai who plays the principle character. We all know he uses to play in dramas or movies that have some kind of relation with humanism and things along that but this drama opens the eyes towards medicine and how important is a doctor.

Firstly, Hayami Keigo (Osamu Mukai) is a promising young heart surgeon at a university hospital, but is made to examine patients at a clinic in the mountains during summer on the orders of his superior. There are some other details regarding that but you get to understand it later in the drama. At a harsh environment 2,000 meters above sea level, there is a very small quantity of testing equipment and medicine. It is a culture shock and setback for Keigo who is active in advanced medical care and the use of cutting-edge equipment. This is a place detached from modern medical care where doctors make all diagnoses by touching, looking at and talking to patients. But they also give a lot of comfort and they do have some medical assistance. They aren't completely unprepared for easy surgeries; there are a lot of these throughout the drama. Oyama Haruka (Ono Machiko), who's character I find likeable but very slow in some moments, was raised by parents who ran a mountain lodge, but when she was 5, her mother died in an accident on the mountains. That influenced her to become a nurse in Tokyo. However, one day, an incident prompts her to escape from Tokyo and return to the mountain lodge. It is the same time that Keigo arrives at the clinic. These two don't get well with each other from the start. Haruka's personality is really headstrong. 

Anyway, the characters in this drama are all very lively and I think every episode had some good quotes for both life itself and medicine. I was surprised by how deeply the whole drama touched me. Each episode carries heavy feelings and make you think about the situation the characters get into. 

One thing I don't understand is: why in every drama he is in, he has to be engaged or have a relationship with girls that are simply unimportant and desperate and so many more adjectives! Like seriously! And in movies most of the times he doesn't end up with the right girl! It pisses me off, really. But Osamu Mukai is a brilliant actor, my second favourite actually, and he acts so veridical and it's obvious he does make his homework. I also liked Haruka. Ono Machiko did a great job on this character. I could see the pain in her face expressions, when she smiled you could feel the happiness she felt etcetera. I'm pretty content with this drama.

So, I assure you this drama is worthwhile. It's so touching and intelligent created. Also, the music may sound too fantasy-like and a little overrated but it does have its role and after a few episodes you fast forward over it anyway. :)

Too Common

A few hours later, when it was seemingly getting dark, Anna found herself stuck with her fellow friends who were also artists, into a noisy pub. Rosie was the one who gathered everyone at the table so she could tell the big news to everyone. The brunette wasn't too happy with the location but she did enjoy the time with her mates.

“So,” She started but the noise was covering her tiny, female voice. She rolled her eyes and grunted. “I said ,SO!’”  She yelled. The whole room got silent and every pair of eyes turned to her. The scowl she previously had transformed magically into a sweet smile. “I have some big news regarding our brilliant friend, Anna!”

“Are you getting married?” One of the boys asked the culprit, frowning.

Anna gulped down her drink, already fed up with the surreal attention she was getting. That didn't stop the stares, making her drink even faster.

“Idiots. It’s about the book. It reached the American box office too! Aren't you happy?” Everyone groaned. “That means we get paid more.” The whole table started to cheer. While Rosie went back to her seat, Anna glared at her.

“Who’s more caught up into this story? The writer or the reader?” The blonde smiled sweetly and patter her friend’s thigh. 

“If you ever meet him again, thank me.” She whispered before entering a fiery conversation between the people on the table. Anna rolled her eyes but couldn't agree with her. It wasn't meant to be so that, logically, meant they will never meet again.

On the way back home, the blonde was so drunk that she couldn't walk at least one meter without tripping over her own feet. The older woman couldn't say she was fed up with her friend’s behaviour because she already got accustomed with her personality, which hadn't been easy. London was famous for the rainy weather and that night didn't make an exception. The fortunate fact was that the two girls were really close to the apartment.

Inside the elevator, Rosie started to talk nonsense while Anna was furiously pushing the 6^th floor’s button. She was calm but inside, she was sure she would have killed the younger woman and makes it look like a suicide. She was a good sadistic writer, she could even use one of her many stories to cover the crime. Even she was surprised when, after 3 years since the incident, she wrote it down like it happened yesterday. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. The consummation of alcohol started to take a tool on her head too.

“Lover in Tokyo, huh?” Even worse was when Rosie decided to make her feel miserable. After a funny hiccup and a few slurred words that she couldn't understand, she grabbed the blonde’s hand and walked out of the elevator and inside their apartment, having a few problems with getting the keys. On one hand she had Rosie and on the other she had her purse and a few more groceries.

After Rosie had been tucked in her bed safely, Anna walked into the kitchen, not sleepy yet. She changed into a loose shirt and long pyjama pants and, on her way to making tea, she also turned on the TV. While waiting for the water to heat up, she heard another show where her book was praised.

“It’s not like I wrote it now. It’s been out for a year now…” She mumbled while changing the channel. It was indeed a mystery how no one had ever heard about her in a year and, one day, out of nowhere, thousands of reporters appeared in front of her door.

She grabbed her favourite cup, which was bought from Japan, and poured the sweet tea inside. The steam rising from the hotness of the water seemed to get Anna into a melancholic state. She sighed hard, like she just left her soul out, and walked towards the TV. She sat on the couch and cuddled into the softness of it, the cup held tightly in her hands.  The program was boring, nothing seemed to get old but nothing new appeared. It was like a vicious cycle. Everything on the television was bullshit and she knew that. It was all too faked and covered: old stories, arranged so that they would look new. It was overwhelming.

In that moment I realized what he meant. I was getting miserable, bored of everything. I did go with the flow and ended up back in England, with a University finished in management and business but I became a writer. I really didn't know what reason I could find to live happily. What was happiness? I started to ask myself. I wanted to get the easy way out but that path was definitely not in Europe.