Guilt

At lunch, Stella sat with Tracy, Sami, Roy and Austin. The boys were much relaxed than the girls. Tracy still couldn’t believe how many friends died, in just a few days.

“When I woke up this morning I was more than surprised. Ana was such a nice girl. She didn’t worth to die like this.” I bent my head down, my appetite long gone. I tried and searched for Nate but he was nowhere in sight.

“Have you heard how she died?” Austin asked Tracy. She shook her head. “I heard the police might close the case because there aren’t any clues. However, she had a cut on her neck. That’s all. She died just from blood loss.” Tracy started crying again in Sami’s arms while my chest felt heavy. Ok, it didn’t. I felt rather good. I thought I could block these things. Or maybe I couldn’t feel. I’d have to ask Alex more. After Austin calmed Tracy down, they started talking about other things. I searched for Nate again but he wasn’t in the cafeteria. No, but instead, I caught Eric’s eye. He pointed with his head to one side, meaning he wanted to talk. I nodded.

“I’m getting out of here. See you in class.” They nodded, thinking that maybe I needed alone time after what happened. I got out of there and found Eric waiting for me at my locker. He took my hand, which in that moment I felt something inside my head snap.

“Stella!” The girl rolled her eyes and stopped running. The boy finally caught her and they both fell. “Caught you.” He started smirking while Stella started chuckling.

“It wasn’t fair. I stopped.” The boy shrugged. They were still down when the boy that looked like Eric got a hold of her hand. Stella looked down at him and smiled when she saw him taking her hand to his lips and kissing it. “A gentleman like always.” He chuckled and in an instant both vampires were on their feet again, smiling.

I got out of my flashback and looked at Eric. He still had a tight grip on my hand. I took my hand back, making him stop and look at me. He had a hard to tell expression. Sadness with disappointment or something like this. He took me in the school’s library, in the very back.

“What happened?” I gulped and looked at anything but his eyes. Those blue eyes were boring into my head. “Stella…who killed Ana?” I sighed and closed my eyes. I turned around and bent my head down.

“It wasn’t Alex. He tried to help but I told him to go.” Eric nodded.

“I know it wasn’t him. Was it…you?” I kept staring at the floor. He walked closer and hugged me. “I won’t judge you, Stella. You just arrived in Firehole last week and many things happened. I know this is just the beginning.” I narrowed my eyes and shook his hands off.

“It wasn’t me.” He backed off. “I’m afraid for my brother. It seems it’s harder for him.” Eric nodded, like I said the most logical thing.

“Yes. You went through this once. For you it’s easier to control your thirst. We should keep an eye on Nate, though. He might start to awaken the other senses too.” I raised an eyebrow. “I mean, he might start flirting more and even disappearing for days. He will crave for freedom. Much more freedom.” I looked worried at Eric. He’d seen my troubled expression and hugged me again. And again, that hug made me feel much better. We heard someone coughing and let go of each other. There was a girl who eyed me up and down, glared and left. I rolled my eyes.

While Stella was at school, Nate flashed out of it, not seeing what good could get out of it. He would just have to bear the others and he wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t want to go back at the bar, risking to be recognized. He just went to a small café, to clear his head. He stood there, looking at everyone around him, smelling the blood from every human who passed his table. He closed his eyes and put his head between his hands, trying to concentrate on something else.

“Look what I found here.” Nate raised his head to meet clear blue eyes. Alex sat opposite the older vampire and raised an eyebrow, amused. “Your sister is worried about you. You act like the younger sibling.” He said chuckling. Nate shook his head and took a sip from his coffee.

“Did she tell you to come and make me feel worse?” Alex rolled his eyes.

“No. I just didn’t have what to do and thought ‘why not search for Nate and make his life miserable.’” Alex rolled his eyes again. “Kid, you’re older than me, yet here you are wasting your time. You shouldn’t feel bad. That’s your life, you should be proud. A lot of teenagers want to be in your place.” Nate chuckled darkly.

“I don’t think so. They think these creatures exist just in movies. The movies and books make vampires’ life an incredible story. We don’t even have powers.” He hissed. Alex chuckled amused.

“True. We can’t be killed with sticks by humans. We can be killed with sticks by other vampires. Also, we don’t wait a lifetime for our ‘destined love’” He said, pointing the quote signs. “We’re boring, indeed.” He said sarcastically. Nate rolled his eyes. “See the happy part. You have a long, long time ahead for whatever you want to do. You can have any girl, you can party and don’t get drunk, you can be here and in the next second in another place. You can travel anywhere.” Nate shifted in his place. He didn’t thought of it like an opportunity. “You should enjoy it. You already finished school, you already did what a mere human can in its life. Now you can do what a vampire can.” He moved his eyebrows up and down, making Nate chuckle.

“Like getting in jail again?” Alex looked flummoxed at Nate and started laughing.

“Nice one. But I was talking more about traveling. Biting people for blood is not something you should be ashamed of. You killed that pretty girl, and? Pff, big thing! She had to die anyway.” Nate growled at Alex words. The younger vampire didn’t look affected at all. “Vampires can block their ‘emotions’, if there are any. Most of the time the sentiments vampires feel are just in their head. They create them just to feel more humane.” Nate nodded.

“And what should I do? Invent my own?” He shrugged.

“You do feel something for Stella. She’s your sister and you have a strong connection but that’s all. As for the rest, you feel just what you want. You feel disappointed right now because you want to. You’ve been taught to invent emotions that, normally, humans feel when you kill someone, when you love someone, yada yada.” Nate rolled his eyes.